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Joke of the Day

"How do you ship 100 jews across the country? Put them in a semite-truck."

"[Michael Cera knocked backwards by ejecting toast]"

"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."

"How do you define a will? Hint: It's a dead giveaway."

"Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me."

"LOIS LANE: *pulls back from kissing* clark your glasses are hurting my nose can you take them off CLARK KENT: no"

"[Jesus at Last Supper] [holds up bread] This is my body [holds up wine] This is my blood [holds up Instagram pic] This was my breakfast"

"What job did the farmer give to his learning-disabled child? Herder"

"My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician"

"I am getting around to writing my essay on herbs for my botany class... It's about thyme"