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Joke of the Day

"[Michael Cera knocked backwards by ejecting toast]"

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"What do you call an operation on a rabbit? A hare-cut."
"What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages? They both fear the wurst"
"How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!"
"I hate when you're trying to be cheesy but everyone is laughtose intolerant."
"I call my dick Ambidextrous Because I fuck girls left and right."
"What does PONTIAC stand for? Poor Old Nincompoop Thinks It's A Cadillac"
"What was the lonely chemist looking for? AgF"
"I saw Death walking out of my house today... I guess Grandma won. Again."
"WANTED: Sanity LAST SEEN: In store, right before I told my 4 year old that he couldn't get a new toy REWARD: 4 year old"