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Joke of the Day

"Nothing's more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me."

"Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy."

"How many calories do you get from eating pussy? Depends on which direction she wipes..."

"If you're going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10, don't be open."

"Irony is how Jesus is too Liberal for most of his own Fan Clubs"

"Why did the Chinese man tell a joke? Just China be funny."

"My friend has Tourettes. He doesn't have a bank account. He has a swear jar."

"Why did Windows skip to 10? Because 7 ate 9."

"Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a truck."

"Coke Zero Pepsi One Well played Pepsi."