17902

Joke of the Day

"We can put a man on the moon, but we can't stop internet porn from buffering every 20 seconds."

"ME: *taking their hand* It's okay. We all struggle with connecting. RABBID RACCOON: *hissing & desperately trying to wrench its hand free*"

"How do Latino singers warm up? Do Re Mi Fa Sol La Ti No"

"School is like a boner, long and hard. Unless you're Asian."

"If Canada was a Kingdom, PM Stephen Harper would be a King... ...but Canada is a country."

"A cream-filled doughnut and an eclair... ...decided to get a divorce. It's a sad story, but the real victims are their children. They're in for a long, grueling custardy battle."

"Warning: 18+ [link!](http://imgur.com/dkKxyoa)"

"I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself. (Shamelessly stolen from Craig Ferguson)"

"My new neighbour is fat, obnoxious and loud... Now I know how Canada feels"

"That old expression: ""hold the phone!"" doesn't work anymore because everyone is already doing that"