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Joke of the Day

"[house being raided] [swat guy crashes through window, lands on slip n slide I placed there for this exact reason and slides out front door]"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes a long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change..."

"Want to hear a joke about time travel? I'll tell you yesterday."

"Eternal life Police have arrested a man for selling pills that promise eternal life. Records show that it was the fourth time he has been arrested. His previous arrests were in 1760,1839, and 1946."

"How do New Zealanders practice safe sex? (NSFW) They paint a red X on the back of the sheep that kick."

"Today I found out what it was like to play a FPS First person shoveler. gg blizzard."

"I was told that Microwaves were invisible But I can see mine on my counter. Is mine broken?"

"Bad news, the police just seized our German holiday bread. They said it was stollen. Folks, they said it was stollen."

"We get it, cacti, you have great biceps."

"What sort of a car has your dad got? I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas."