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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and orders a double Nebraska. The bartender turns around and says ""Sorry, we don't have *NE*."""

"I like my woman like I like my coffee... Smuggled in a sack from Colombia"

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"

"What's the difference between an immigrant & a book? One of them has papers."

"Q: What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age? A: ""Today children we will learn our ABC's"""

"What stresses fish out the most? Current events."

"Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb."

"After a concert Bono started clapping and then said ""Every time I clap, a child dies in Africa"" . . . Someone from the audience chimed ""Stop fucking clapping then"""

"CEO of KFC: ""We must always respect our customers. That is so important."" Ian: ""Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?"" CEO: ""Yes."""