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Joke of the Day

"the united states russia argentina and germany walk into a bar...... germany turns to argentina and says ""hey wanna go into the country with me"" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH get it?"

"I believe in boobs at first sight."

"A man calls in sick... A man calls in sick and his boss replies and asks ""how sick are you?"" Well, I am fucking my sister so pretty sick."

"Receiving reddit gold was like losing my virginity. I knew it would never happen again."

"Just saw that new Harry Potter movie, and was really disappointed... ...just looked at my ticket stub. It turns out the movie is called fantastic *beasts* and where to find them."

"My ex got me arrested cause i used to sit outside her house all day. She thought i was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"Me: WHAT DO WE WANT?! Him: ""Nothing. I'm good."" WHEN DO WE WANT IT? ""Seriously, knock it off."" I GOT A NEW BULLHORN! ""I can see that.."

"Bought a blowup doll today but I won't blow her up til tomorrow. Don't want to seem desperate."

"An adult man named Todd just told me I could call him Big T, that was 9 minutes ago. I'm staring at him waiting for the punch line."

"I wouldn't say my neighbourhood's been gentrified But it's been demilitarised"