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Joke of the Day

"What's the Difference between like, love and showing off?? Spit, Swallow and Gargle"

"[furiously trying to stir a stick of butter into a glass of milk] ""Don't you wish there was an easier way?"" [cut to carton of butter milk]"

"A Brow Beating I told my girlfriend that it looked like she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"What kind of pants do the Super Mario Bros. wear? Denim denim denim..... I'll see myself out."

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor."

"I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me... ...to help check her balance, so I pushed her over."

"Excuse are like cakes Fat people are full of them"

"There was an infantry man that rode horses for over 50 years. What was his name? Major Bumsore"

"What can a homeless figure skater do to get by? Turn-tricks"