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Joke of the Day

"I'm giving up alcohol for a month.... Wait, sorry. That came out wrong. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month."

"Why did the condom cross the road? Because he was pissed off."

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"Did you hear about the guy who had to leave his position to become a manager? He was fired up"

"What is the Taliban's Favorite Holiday Footwear? What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear? Missile Toe! Source: My brother on the way home from subway."

"I want to start a summer program for kids with A.D.D. I call it ""Concentration Camp"""

"How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree? Wave."

"Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? ""I'm not. that. innocent."" *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*"

"Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think ""Wow, this is Awesome!"""

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it would scare the shit out of the dog."