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Joke of the Day

"So Ramadan started the other night. I too like to celebrate. I like beef Ramadan noodles, but only use half the packet cause of the MSG."

"Why did peasants hate knights' outfits? Because everyone hates chain mail."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free"

"""When I hand-write an entire page it looks like I've had a stroke by paragraph two."""

"An innovative new alternative to ironing your clothes Look shitty"

"My grandfather died in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany... ... he fell from a watchtower when he got drunk again."

"How many drinks do I buy a girl if I want her to come home with me and clean up my room?"

"what idiot called them crabs instead of sidewalks"

"ROOMMATE: While I'm away, can you get some mice to feed my pet snake? ME: Sure [later] ME [to mice] Come on fellas, pls just cook something"

"my dad asked me if I have an organ donor card. i guess he really is a man after my own heart."