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Joke of the Day

"My son has a play-date today & the mom said to dress him in holiday colors so he's in all black & I'm telling her we worship the dark lord."

"Why don't Jehovah's witnesses celebrate Halloween? They don't appreciate strangers coming up to their door."

"There's a big difference between writing poetry, and just making stories with rhymes. Guess which one I'm good at, limes."

"Two redditors pass in an essay after the deadline - we took too long to make this page for you - try again and hopefully we will be fast enough this time"

"Sometimes when my dogs piss me off I put their leashes on them, then I sit on the toilet for 20 mins and make them watch."

"What's Green and has 5 Wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels! Shnockers"

"My business running a dating agency for chickens just folded. Its hard making hens meet."

"Tonight, people who are weaker, slower, and dumber than you will deliver bags of treats to your very doorstep. Seize this moment."

"How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Change? Why do we need change? (It's cool, I go to a Lutheran church)"

"What's one of the worst things you can come across when surfing the web? Your keyboard"