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Joke of the Day

"There's a big difference between writing poetry, and just making stories with rhymes. Guess which one I'm good at, limes."

"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"

"Lionel Ritchie says 'Hello', by the way."

"I went to a library... and asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said, ""Well it rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's there or not."""

"DATE: Are you a dog person or a cat person? ME: *gets really close to the date & whispers* I'm just a person, what bullshit question is this"

"A Physics teacher was talking about the velocity of a falling ball A student asked, ""Is it an African ball or an European ball?"""

"Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman? They are both crustaceans."

"What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine."

"Life without love is pointless.... Love without life is necrophilia"

"Everyone thought the swordsmith was very persuasive He made a good point"