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Joke of the Day

"How many gay guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it in, one to pour the wine, and one to say 'marvelous, simply marvelous!'"

"Roses on your piano What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"My boyfriend wanted a serious relationship so we stopped smiling at each other."

"*buys Sushi for Dummies* *preheats oven* *reads first page of Sushi for Dummies* *turns off oven*"

"What is the difference between a feminist and a walrus? A walrus has at least two valid points."

"I was at the theatre seeing a tragedy and the man behind me started wailing. I got hit in the head with a harpoon."

"Ya know what's a real pain in my ass? Anal fissures."

"A video game where you are haunted by ghosts of your ancestors. They swarm around you and moan ""get a job"" or ""we are so disappointed."""

"Yo mama is so hairy... ...She doesn't have a bush, she has a whole damn rain forest."

"All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?"