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Joke of the Day

"One day in the Kwik-E-Mart A customer asked ""could you give me two bags, Apu?"" but Apu couldn't give two shits."

"Just drank two 5-Hour Energy shots. Will I get 10 hours of energy? And why is that rainbow giggling at me? AndAHH MY SKIN IS ON INSIDE-OUT!"

"What Do You Call A Galloping Musician? Ludvig Van BeetHOOFen."

"what's brown and sticky? a stick."

"I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation."

"How do you make a shortcut? With small scissors."

"Why did the kid steal the fan? He wanted to be cool."

"What do women and tornadoes have in common? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave."

"My wife threw a doughnut at my head. Now I have a glazy eye."

"What's great about living in Japan? Well, the flag is spot on!"