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Joke of the Day
"What do mexicans cut their pizza with? Little Caesars."
Next Joke
"*passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*"
"Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here"
"My gym sent me home for following their motto it's confusing, they need to change it to ""go hard and go home"""
"My husband's doing that cute thing again where he thinks he's right. *throws his shit out on the lawn* *makes a bonfire*"
"I'm sorry, Black Lives Matter is actually a peaceful and forward thinking movement that our society needs... Now if you could all stop sending me death threats on twitter that would be great."
"Why did the irishman wear two condoms? to be sure, to be sure."
"A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.. making land mines that look like prayer mats. He's doing very well, business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof."
"Knock knock... Who's there? Cow. Cow who? COWWHOBUNGA DUDE ._."
"What's the difference between a pot of glue, a tuna, and a guitar? You can tuna guitar but you can't guitar a tuna!"