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Joke of the Day

"How spicy would you like your clairvoyants? Medium."

"Last night I had a dream that I wrote the Lord of the Rings. When I woke up my wife said I had been Tolkien in my sleep..."

"She died doing what she loved! Telling me how to drive."

"I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That's just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours."

"Who built the round table? Sir cumference assisted by Sir cular Huehuehue"

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? Turned into a field."

"Why are chickens never virgins? A: Because when they're born they get laid."

"if evolution isnt real then sombody please explain how my couch has ""evolved"" to fit the shape of my butte"

"What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"Accidentally went to Rouge One instead of Rogue One. Boy is my face red."