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Joke of the Day

"Diner: Could I have a glass of water? Waiter: To drink? Diner: No I want to rinse out a few things."

"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."

"In Soviet Russia... ...end of joke is when line punches *you*."

"What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O'Shea"

"Q: Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on one buck night? A: They couldn't fit a deer into the car."

"Jesus is really mad at me, and I don't know why. I even said have a good friday!"

"What Do You Call A Group... Of both crows and ducks, of which the ratio is 80% ducks and 20% crows? A murder most fowl."

"Human confrontation has gone from face-to-face to phone call to email to text to :/."

"Do you sell hot dogs? Because you know how to make a wiener stand."

"What kind of tableware do gym trainers use? Pilates"