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Joke of the Day

"Probably the hardest part of being an adult is trying to come up with excuses to tell your friends about why you go to bed so early."

"What did the thirsty weatherman say to his intern? I need my thermos, stat!"

"If you're a girl and you get a ticket for going 5-10 over the speed limit, you might want to think about plastic surgery."

"I was going to tell a pizza joke but... It was too CHEESY! HAHAHAHAHA"

"My dad's TV volume is always set at ""f*ck the neighbors""."

"Will playing ""GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony"" make me a homosexual? Same question for ""GTA IV: The Lost and The Damned."

"Did you hear about the time that shallots, scallions, ramps, and leeks all got together? They tried to onionize."

"Her: Are you even capable of love? Me: I'm pretty sure I love pancakes."

"I admit I once used the n-word when someone asked me to go to a Kenny Chesney concert. But that n-word was, ""No."""

"I heard about a robot that beat a man. He was charged with battery."