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Joke of the Day

"When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses."

"It's going to be easy for Trump to build that wall... ... everyone's shitting bricks everywhere"

"[Offensive] I like my wine the way I like my Women... Nine years old and in the cellar."

"What if cell phones are part of an elaborate plot to rid the world of phone booths so Superman has nowhere to change?"

"I once swallowed two strings and they came out tied together. Yeah, I shit you knot!"

"I ordered a meal from the International Space Station. My sides are in orbit."

"Pigs Standing next to pig processing plant when I heard all the machines firing up and smoke started bellowing from the stacks. Only thought is, man that place is going full boar"

"Knock knock? Who's there? Dr Who. WHICH Dr Who?"

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb."

"MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL"