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Joke of the Day

"When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses."

"""I'll drink to that."" -me to my next drink"

"Why was the chef afraid of cooking steaks on a plane? The steaks have never been higher"

"""You always overreact and make things dramatic. It's really annoying."" *raises megaphone to lips* How so?"

"I got a letter in the mail saying I was pre-approved for a Walmart Credit Card. Not sure if I should be honored or ashamed."

"When I worked for the USPS a number of years ago I found the work to be slightly monotonous. It really helped me work on my delivery though."

"If you steal my identity and get a credit card I'll be impressed. Not because you stole my identity, but because you got approved. Kudos!"

"[NSFW] Ok, /r/jokes, this has gone too far. Please, no more vagina jokes. Period!"

"If two vegetarians are arguing is it called a beef?"

"What's the difference between a church bell & a politician? A church bell peals from the steeple."