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Joke of the Day

"Fun Fact If your parents never had children, chances are that neither will you."

"It's hard telling how many Kleenex I've fathered."

"I cheated on my girlfriend yesterday We were playing Monopoly, she left and I stole some money from the bank. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"Why wasn't I able to see the instruction manual? Because the instructions were clear."

"Some 1-oz liquor glasses were let go from a local pub recently. Shots fired"

"Why have they created sweet tampons? for sour puss(ys)"

"Hey ladies, No Shave November ain't for you. Just saw some gal lookin' like she was tryin' to smuggle a cactus in her yoga pants. Merica."

"I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes."

"What do you call a dog in a submarine? A subwoofer"

"I failed stats because i have no faith in myself.. I couldn't find anything more than a 0% confidence interval."