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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cat in heat? Prr-miscuous"

"How do you keep a Turkey in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"*gets on 1 knee* Jenny... ""OMG"" *places hand on heart and starts crying* ""This is great!"" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack"

"8yo: mommy how old are you? Me: 46 8yo: *blink blink* so you seen a real dinosaur?"

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman taking a bath? The nun has hope in her soul, and the woman has soap in her hole. EDIT: NSFW?"

"I RELATE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP BECAUSE OF THE ROMANCE AND NOT BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO EAT SPAGHETTI WITH A DOG MOUTH"

"Why isn't suntanning an olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze."

"What do you call a mix between an umingmak and a wealthy Canadian-American inventor? An Elon Muskox! please don't kill me"

"Remember how much you used to like this song?- Car ads."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bush ! Bush who ? Bush your money where your mouth is !"