177696

Joke of the Day

"I'm tried starting a club for hipsters I got quite a few to sign up until they heard it was getting popular"

"Finally found a house! We couldn't afford it and it wasn't for sale, but we just murdered the owners and took it anyway. Happy Columbus Day!"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear."

"Apparently, Walt Disney was a secret FBI snitch for 26 years so I guess you could say he was a rat who was famous for drawing a mouse."

"How much do cosmetics sell for? Face value."

"A man bets his wife that she can't make him happy and mad at the same time She says, ""Your dick is bigger than all your friends' dicks!"""

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG"

"Leaving Twitter for Facebook is like leaving the bar to go home."

"Wow I never thought you'd agree to go out with me *starts car, Whitesnake is playing at full volume*"

"I had diarrhea and had some jalapeno sauce That came out badly"