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Joke of the Day

"A man bets his wife that she can't make him happy and mad at the same time She says, ""Your dick is bigger than all your friends' dicks!"""

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"If Hannibal Lector is not a vegetarian, what is he? A humanitarian."
"I'm pro-choice; pro-life is for babies."
"What do the Welsh call safe sex? Spray painting the sheep that bite."
"Just texted her ""thanks for choking on me"" I meant ""checking"" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be."
"[at the hunting store] Me: where's the camo gear? Clerk [winks]: exactly"
"A straight face and a sincere-sounding ""Huh?"" have gotten me out of more trouble than I can remember."
"What's the smartest muscle in the human body? The anal sphincter; it can differentiate solid, liquid, and gas."
"The Orgasm Time Machine A coming of age story."
"Your Momma so fat when I download porn of her on the Internet I exceed my monthly data cap"