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Joke of the Day
"Leaving Twitter for Facebook is like leaving the bar to go home."
Next Joke
"I've been married to my wife for 34 years. We now only have hallway sex... When you pass each other in the hallway and both just say ""Fuck You"""
"What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ? Super Man wears his underwear over his pants.."
"Time waits for no man, time is obviously a woman."
"Just completed a 0.00 mi run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies #RunKeeper"
"What do you call a British nanny with an MDMA addiction? Molly Poppins."
"Jesus' Greatest Miracles: 3) Turning water to wine 2) Raising Lazarus 1) Maintaining a milky-white complexion in a desert climate for 33 yrs"
"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaay."
"So is Walmart a verb now? As in, ""I'm out of clean underwear, so I'm going to have to Walmart it today."""
"What goes in dry and hard, but comes out soft and wet? Chewing gum. What'd you think it was?"