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Joke of the Day

"Why do women wear white wedding dresses? So the dishwasher can match the refrigerator and stove"

"What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common? They both used to be on top gear."

"What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question? ..."

"I'm not a quitter. ""Lights cigarette"""

"A wife texts her husband ""Windows frozen"" ""Pour some hot water over it"" he replies. ""Computer completely fucked now"""

"My granddad has the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from Bristol Zoo."

"Teen for rent: Knows everything, does nothing."

"When Jesus comes back, how will they discover if he's Jesus or Robot Jesus? by giving him the shroud of turing test."

"How many Polaks does it take to come up with heliocentric theory? One."

"How many ears does spock have? (if you don't get it read it aloud) a left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."