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Joke of the Day

"My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate."

"Why was the Dark Age dark? Because there were too many knights...."

"[Interview] Why do you want this job? Me: *opens briefcase* I don't. *pulls out Snickers* I just wanted to eat this without my kids around"

"If the Dove is ""The Bird Of Peace"" What's the bird of love? The Swallow."

"Justin Bieber has grown a mustache. His transformation into a teenage mexican girl is now complete."

"It's sad that, because of cell phones, kids today will never know what it's like to choke their friends with a phone cord."

"It's not the most beautiful poem, but it's pretty deep I dig you dig he digs she digs we dig"

"Don't just assume I'm crazy. Let this wedding album I photoshopped you into speak for itself."

"If you think your child is annoying, imagine what I think."

"Two Goldfish are in a Tank One turns to the other and says.. ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""