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Joke of the Day

"Wars would be obsolete if women ruled the world There would just be a bunch of jealous countries who do not talk to eachother."

"But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :("

"I asked a girl to text me when she got home She must be homeless"

"What do you call it when Einstein faps? A stroke of genius."

"I hate when I click a porn video and I can see myself in the screen while it's loading."

"Keep dimming automatically, laptop screen. We love that."

"It's crazy how sexist the postal service is. I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry."

"Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!"

"Why do you never hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the p is silent"

"I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see."