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Joke of the Day

"tough choice Obama, Osama, and Hitler are lined up against a wall who gets shot first Obama for fucking this country"

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I am schizophrenic. I am too."

"The greatest trick the devil ever played is emailing you & then sending an ""out of office"" notification when you reply like 30 seconds later"

"I feel that jokes about basements are beneath me... ...but I won't tell you a joke about roofs because it'll go over your head."

"My friend thought it would be funny to fake his own death... It was a hard thing for us to die-jest"

"BARENKATAPULT!"

"Last year I turned my life around and lost over 200 lbs People ask me what's your secret? And I'm like ""It's simple, I dumped my girlfriend."""

"Light a man a fire... Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Light a man afire and he'll be warm the rest of his life. (I know it's a repost, but I've never seen the play on words, shame)"

"Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies? So that they don't get mistaken for feminists"

"What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make? Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u"