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Joke of the Day

"My friend thought it would be funny to fake his own death... It was a hard thing for us to die-jest"

"I've been eating nothing but chicken for the past few days and I finally went to the bathroom. The stench was fowl."

"why aren't mexicans and blacks suppose to have kids? because the children will be to lazy to steal."

"I want to have sex with McKayla Maroney... But I think she would be unimpressed."

"If I was a fashion designer Id call myself ""who"" so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say ""Who?"" ""Yes who?"" ""Yes."""

"A man was found pouring dozens of bags of frozen peas into the grave of his dead wife. He wanted her to rest in peas."

"Adult: Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minute for me to get hard I just got laid by a chick"

"Being sick sucks. I've laid in bed for days, ate nothing, lost 4 pounds, didn't go to work and slept nonstop. Wait. Being sick is AWESOME!"

"*Lowers thermostat* *Dad puts it back* *Lowers thermostat again* *Dad puts it back again* The real Cold War"