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Joke of the Day

"""Some say Jesus drove a Honda, but didn't like to talk about it"" ""For I did not speak of my own Accord..."" - John 12:49"

"Hey baby, you're just like my little toe... ...because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue... I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast!"

"If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!"

"Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands? ""If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands."""

"Bet you can't see your dick My colleague said to me, ""I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower."" ""No, just your daughter's head,"" I replied."

"A woman asks her Milkman to fill her bath with milk.. He asks ""Do you want that milk pasteurised?"", She replies ""No, just up to my boobs please."""

"What If When You Die They Ask You ""How Was Heaven?"""

"2 penises went to watch a movie.. Penis 1: Is this an adult film? Penis 2: Why? Penis 1: Then we have to watch it standing up. P.S. - xD I'm sorry, this just came to me.."

"Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot"