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Joke of the Day

"WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her"

"What do you call a female with down syndrome? Debby Downer"

"What can a goose do, that a duck can't, that a lawyer should ? Stick his bill up his ass."

"I like my women the way i like my luxury cars Blacked out"

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is dog."

"Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? A: When you slap a mosquito it will stop sucking."

"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I am forever in your debt."

"Dad joke Son: ""Dad, tell me a joke."" Dad: ""Pussy."" Son: ""I don't get it."" Dad: ""I know."""

"Keep your friend's toast, but keep your enemy's toaster."

"A Mormon president would face the most difficult issue any president has. Deciding who's the First Lady, who's the Second Lady, and who's the Third Lady."