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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"Why won't alligators attack lawyers? Professional courtesy"

"If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country. If Hillary wins, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political joke, I just really wanna travel."

"Life on earth is expensive, but it does include an annual free trip around the sun"

"Yo Mama so fat she rolled out of bed and everybody thought there was an earthquake."

"I'm told that if you eat pineapple or carrots in excess, your come will taste like that food... Is this why my Japanese girlfriend's pussy tastes like raw fish?"

"Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want."

"Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children."

"Wife: ""Hey sexy, the kids are asleep, I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear."" Me: ""OK, ... the bathroom....the kitchen....your car..."""

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender says why the long face. The horse says ""I finally realise that my alcoholism is driving my family apart"""