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Joke of the Day

"A canibal walks out of the restroom and looks to his friend... ...He then says, ""I shat the sheriff, but I did not shit the deputy"""

"[taking FRIENDS quiz] 7. Which character do you most identify with? Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character? Ross"

"Why did NASA hire a proctologist? To help plan the trip to Uranus."

"When Chuck Norris says ""More cowbell"", he MEANS it."

"""Settle down. You can play Whac-a-Mole when the man with the neck tattoo uses up his tokens."" Chuck E Cheese is such a special place."

"My sister-in-law had a miscarriage Does that raise or lower her kill-death ratio?"

"Joe is a such generous guy. Once he went out on the town and got two blowjobs. He came back and gave me one!"

"You'd think Goldilocks would have been all like, ""Damn, it smells like bears in here. Is that a family portrait of bears?! I should leave."""

"What would happen if the BLM people became white lives matter? They would finally be right."

"A latin joke Titus: Markus, legistis pleiades? Markus: pleiades quest Titus: pleiades testes in ore tuo."