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Joke of the Day

"""Settle down. You can play Whac-a-Mole when the man with the neck tattoo uses up his tokens."" Chuck E Cheese is such a special place."

"In response to Wikipedia's ""price of a cup of coffee is all we need"" fundraiser. I like my coffee like my wikipedia. Free!"

"I was having a good day until my imaginary friend stole my coloring book & crayons & he demands $100 for their return. What a stressful day!"

"I put 1 ball in my pocket. But, my friend found 3."

"whats the most useless thing on a woman a drunken irishman"

"This coffee tastes like... ...mud, because it was ground a few minutes ago. EDIT: how to tag as 'dirty'?"

"I'm not saying four kids is too many, I'm just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that's all."

"Reddit is like a newspaper... ...all of the headlines happened yesterday."

"Obama and Putin are fighting over a phone charger. You might even say they're in a power struggle."

"My friend lives in Colorado and told me he wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn't a good idea. The steaks would be too high."