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Joke of the Day

"son you're getting older and one way I show my trust in you is letting you tackle some tough jobs on your own; bathing the cat for starters"

"Just made this up, probably not as funny as I think it is. What do you call a dozen birds making a rooster? A twelve finch cock!"

"How do stick men play fetch with their dog?"

"Ever had sex while camping? It's fucking in tents! ...I'll see myself out."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two white stallions fell in the mud."

"My friend accidentally shot off his toes. He told me to take him to the hospital,But I can't I'm Lack-toes-intolerant."

"Whose fault is it that California always has earthquakes? San Andreas fault."

"[Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER."

"Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?"

"Nobody thinks my march madness bracket will win I just can't see why people would dismiss a team that beat professional organizations last year. I say Golden State all the way."