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Joke of the Day

"My friend accidentally shot off his toes. He told me to take him to the hospital,But I can't I'm Lack-toes-intolerant."

"95% of the world is retarded I'm glad I'm part of the 10%"

"I made my first snowman today... It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet."

"I couldn't find my mustache for a week It was right under my nose the entire time."

"I'm so lucky that I get to wake up every day and do what I love. (eat)"

"What are the two problems Donald Trump is currently being treated for ? 1) Electile Dysfunction and 2) Premature Congratulations."

"What kind of workout does Bob the electrician do? Circuit training."

"7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie."

"Probably the worst Rule ever is Ja."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles."