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Joke of the Day

"They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex. It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs."

"I'm going to see Jimi Hendrix perform next week! At least, that's what my doctor told me..."

"Did you hear Kim Jong Un banned sarcasm? Woops, thought this was r/News"

"Why can't Redditors lose their virginity? They can never get further than the tip!"

"One time I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist.... Unfortunately, I couldn't find any openings....."

"They're demanding figgy pudding. They won't go until they get some. What do I do? Call the cops? I'm calling the cops."

"A man died at the drive-in theater He froze to death seeing ""Closed for season""."

"ME *sees baby crab in stroller*: He's so cute! I just wanna rip his lil legs off dip em in butter and eat them! MOM CRAB *beaming*: thank u"

"Wife: Valentine's day is right around the corner. Me: No worries, so is Wal-Mart."

"Imagine me with poor grammar. Wrong. Worser."