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Joke of the Day
"I once installed a sky light in my apartment. Boy were my upstairs neighbors pissed."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the chambers."
"A gerund, infinitive, and a past participle walk into a bar. Drinking, to drink, to get drunk"
"How is Sandusky like a tortoise? He gets there before the hair..."
"Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation."
"*Answers door naked* Jehovah's Witnesses... Me: Do you have a moment to let me tell you about my sex life? Here, have this pamphlet."
"I have a great story to tell u. ""Why don't u just go write a book"" Wow, that's- ""Don't u dare say it-"" a novel idea. ""I'm moving out"""
"Mr. Webb, what is the greatest threat to national security? ""The dinosaurs in Jurassic World, they always seem to get out"""
"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."
"I helped a little old lady at the market today.. She was too short to grab a box of cereal from the top shelf, so I stood on her shoulders!"