176984

Joke of the Day

"What does a dyslectic, agnostic, insomniac think about at night? Is there really a dog. Dog lover joke."

"My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip. I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one."

"I went to a paraplegic fundraiser It was crawling with pussy"

"I tried exercise but I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous."

"What do a priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."

"How do you spell Canda? C,eh,N,eh,D,eh"

"It's 2015. I can't believe we're still referring to a dress as colored."

"Officer, if you are what you eat... Then I'm an innocent man."

"Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops."

"A guy walks into his room with a duck under his arm... and says ""This is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says ""That's not a pig, it's a duck."" He says ""I wasn't talking to you."""