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Joke of the Day
"What do a priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."
Next Joke
"Being dark skinned is a CHOICE. In just a few years, through prayer, celebrity Beyonce is almost completely white. You can change too."
"Unless you can be Batman, always be yourself."
"ME: *opens car door for date like a gentleman* DATE: *running and out of breath* PLEASE STOP THE CAR"
"Why are the news media like a prostitute? Because they are good at making stuff up."
"Who is an archaeologist? One whose career is in ruins."
"I once swallowed two separate strings and they came out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot."
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffe before it was cool."
"""I have a hard time with faces. One time I mistook a wolf for my dead grandmother LOL!"" - Little Red Riding Hood, talking to a coat rack."
"The girl next to me is texting her friend about how there's an annoying guy looking at her phone, lemme show her which emojis to use."