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Joke of the Day
"What do a priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? They both came in a little behind."
Next Joke
"I'm not a basic Jew, I'm Hasidic."
"After seeing the ""Women don't talk much in Star Wars"" video... Maybe that's how they got so much done"
"Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint; the phone rings,and he jumps up shouting: ""Oh Shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"""
"Request: jokes about the color turquoise. And jokes about the color pink. Do your worst. Dad jokes preferred"
"On my home screen I surrounded the Fitbit app with a bunch of food delivery apps so it knows what's up."
"when there was one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I tripped and fell but Jesus didn't see and he kept walking for a little bit"
"My friend died of autoerotic asphyxiation... The story is a real tearjerker."
"I teased Peyton Manning so he broke my phone. Now it'll never go past one ring...."
"i hope the guy behind me in line doesn't think i'm a weird cat lady cause my cart's full of fancy feast. i just like the way it tastes, dude"