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Joke of the Day

"I told my parents that I wanted to be a comedian for a living and they laughed at me I guess I'm off to a good start"

"INTERVIEWER: Why did you leave your previous job? ME: Because once they fire you they won't let you stay."

"Just realized what I'm putting on my tombstone. If you're reading this, I'm already dead."

"Why was the little boy unhappy? Because he had a frog stapled to his face"

"My childhood has prepared me for a lot more bear-related pic-a-nic-basket thefts than I'm currently experiencing."

"What happened to the Milkman? He drank all the milk.... makes sense no? logically, yes!"

"Found a note on my door today that said ""You're Awesome!"" (: I'm the one that wrote it. But still... feels fucking good!"

"Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"" ... There's the door. I will show myself out."

"Two guys walk into a bar... ... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother's a whore."

"I always thought I was stupid... Then I read the commentary."