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Joke of the Day

"Last night, during sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move... She was like, ""What the hell are you doing!?"" And I was like, ""Hush baby, I saw this on PornHub....it's called 'buffering'."""

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh! Aaand I'm out"

"I am going to tell my friends... That I will show up to their holloween party as Amelia Earhart...then not show up."

"*catcher puts 1 finger down* *pitcher shakes head* *puts 2 fingers down* *nods* (catcher to umpire) ""can we take a break? he has to poop"""

"The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth."

"What did the farting pharaoh say to the farting slave? We only have a Toot in common."

"2 dyslexics robbing a bank. Two dyslexics run into a bank and shout: Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up."

"Stupidity is dangerous, and thanks to social media we have managed to weaponize it."

"A new sickness has been found and researchers report it infects only the nose. According to them, this is a full-blown disease."

"My fridge should be called Kraft... cos it's full of sliced singles, individually wrapped in plastic."