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Joke of the Day

"I just saw 2 blondes walk into a bar. You'd think after the first one did, the second one would have stopped."

"If you would have told me 20 years ago that I'd be posting stupid jokes on the internet, I would have said what's an internet."

"Why is it called ""reading a book"" and not paper view?"

"Why don't debutantes like group sex? Too many thank you notes to write"

"This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car."

"10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend: 1. Truthful 2. Intelligent 3. Gentle 4. Humble 5. Tolerant 6. Polite 7. Understanding 8. Sexy 9. Smart 10. Young In short:- T.I.G.H.T.P.U.S.S.Y"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!"

"Guys. GUYS! Every issue of National Geographic is now on DVD-ROM. FINALLY! God I've missed masturbating to sweet aborigine pancake titties!"

"""fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u"" - a goldfish :("

"""I am not a human garbage disposal"" *eats leftover mac n cheese anyway* *makes terrible grinding noise after accidentally swallowing fork*"