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Joke of the Day
"Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now."
Next Joke
"Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress. All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he's done."
"Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards."
"First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got."
"Unexplainable things: 1) Stonehenge 2) ESP 3) How my car insurance company can magically lower my renewal cost when I threaten to leave them"
"Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery"
"How many corpses does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently more than 3, because it's been a week and my basement is still dark."
"Q:Whats worst than getting a penis drawn on your face? A:knowing it was traced"
"I was going to have a life but then twitter happened."
"I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones."