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Joke of the Day

"My mate just rang me in tears... His wife has left him, taken his prized Bob marley collection and the Satellite dish. Poor Bastard.. No woman, no sky..."

"What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers? The Elf and Saftey Executive."

"Men are fun to argue with, because even IF they win... they lose."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was intense"

"To any ex-military that live on my street I apologize for whatever messages we may be sending, 2yo has discovered light switches"

"Ordering at Chipotle: ""With white rice."" ""Brown?"" ""No, white. And chicken."" ""Steak?"" ""No, chicken. And medium salsa."" ""Mild?"" ""No, medium."""

"I shake my head at people's stupidity so often that no one will even notice if I get Parkinson's."

"What did earth say to the other planets? You guys have no life!"

"To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word."

"Click here for spoilers Microorganisms Humidity Light Heat"