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Joke of the Day
"I shake my head at people's stupidity so often that no one will even notice if I get Parkinson's."
Next Joke
"Egg and a sausage sizzling away in a frying pan The egg says ""fuck me its hot in here"". The sausage goes ""fuck me, a talking egg!"""
"Listening to Jay-Z has literally taught me everything I know about whether or not a cop can legally search my car."
"Why was the Pedophile's movie rated PG-13? It only had minor nudity."
"What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners? Use the forks Luke."
"Knock Knock... Me: Knock Knock Other person: who's there Me: Allah Other person: Allah who? Me: Allah who Akbar (ALLAHU AKBAR BOOOOOOM)"
"What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look I'm changing!"
"If at first you don't succeed try try a gun"
"I'm training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh. It's a running joke."
"""Can I smash my head against your wall?"" ""Sure, knock yourself out."""