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Joke of the Day

"What did earth say to the other planets? You guys have no life!"

"What does Massive Attack call Parkinson's Disease? Interia Creeps Moovin' Up Slowly"

"The man who fell into an upholstery machine is now fully recovered."

"I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed."

"Warning: password is case sensitive. password i think ur case is cute dont woorry so much"

"What is loud and sounds like an apple? **AN APPLE!**"

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?'"

"Before I workout, I like to warm up with 10 sets of selfie's."

"I believe in God and have a sense of humor about it. But when you insist that makes me an idiot, you sound as tolerant as Mel Gibson."

"Me: What's the suite number on that address? 8: It just says ""Hashtag 301."" Me: Before hashtags were born, those were called number signs."