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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time I had sex I'd be a cheap prostitute"

"Why was the pedophile so excited by 23 year olds? There is 20 of them!!!"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Headgear Barbie ...guaranteed to make kids with braces feel better!"

"What did the 40 yr old bassoonist tell the proctologist? You need to examine my butt soon."

"Why are drums a fire hazard? Because they're flam-able. Ba-da Bum tsss."

"That awkward moment when the person who just made the elevator notices you were holding the 'close' button"

"I was arrested for indecent exposure, but, sadly, released for lack of evidence."

"I've always wondered what mothballs smelled like. But I could never get their tiny legs apart to find out."

"Every time I go for a run I think ""why am I even doing this?"" Then I look back and see all the cops chasing me and it's like ""oh yeah, duh."""

"I stayed at my girlfriends family's place durring the Christmas break. Her father was being a prick and wouldn't let us sleep together, which is a shame, because he is a real good looking guy."