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Joke of the Day

"Whats wrong with four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? The Cadillac seats five."

"Do you ever wake up. Kiss the person beside you, and just be thankful to be alive. I did. Not really appreciated on flights apparently"

"My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don't exist. He's busy vacuuming now."

"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"

"So, tell me. Why do Russians go crazy over pho? Because... they are so viet *ba dum tss*"

"Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport? Because its a band substance"

"Did you that even when The Thing is not scared... He still shits bricks"

"I once knew a man with two monocles. He made made a right spectacle of himself."

"How do police informants begin their jokes? Nark Nark"

"What's the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics. (From a poster on the ceiling in my dentists office)"