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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you bring valve oil to the airport? Because its a band substance"

"What is the difference between a Mountain Lion and a Guppy? A Guppy likes to muck around the fountain; a Lion likes to fuck around the Mountain."

"Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur? Answer: Mega-sore-ass."

"What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command."

"How to emberass an acrchaeologist? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"What did the tsunami say to Japan? .. ... nothing, it waved. Happy Thursday all."

"Psychopaths make up about 1% of the US population. Exposing them is easy, just text your friends & check who has their read receipts on."

"Q: How does an octopus go to war? A: Armed."

"The only thing I've ever made from scratch was dandruff."

"It's been a brutal heatwave with no respite, but things will finally cool off tomorrow and rain. I can't wait to complain about that."